Curls are curls. Some are tight and some are loose. Having a tighter curl doesn’t make your hair nappy and having a loose curl doesn’t make it more pretty. As women worldwide, embrace their natural curl pattern, let’s cut out the comparison and criticism. We all need each other.Curl types and numbers aren’t meant to divide us, they are meant to guide us. So why use what is intended to be helpful, as a means for negativity?
I have a mixed level of type 3 curls and I get the impression that some may think that means my natural hair journey has been easy. However, I’m here to tell them different.
I used to think my hair was nappy.
Yes. I thought it was nappy.
l relaxed it and relaxed it so that I could blend in with what I saw around me. I flat ironed it to death. Cut in it so it wasn’t so “thick”. Safe to say I hated my hair when I was younger. It wasn’t until I was exposed to women of all shades and hair types rocking their natural hair, that I began to believe my hair could be beautiful in it’s natural state. Thank you Atlanta.
I have been relaxer free for six years. While my now, somewhat revived, curl pattern may be more “acceptable” to society’s beauty standards; I still face my fair share of stereotyping. A couple years ago I left Atlanta and returned home to a predominantly white city. A city where any hair that isn’t silky straight is cause for stares and out of pocket comments. I can admit it doesn’t discourage me like it used to. I have adjusted and grown to genuinely love my hair over time. Oh! And do know, I have “clap backs” in place and ready for any deserving bystander.
What does discourage me?
Other, more entitled naturals, who feel like bi-racial women don’t count as naturals.
Those that think a loose curl pattern doesn’t warrant any support or credit from others. I see comments from those narrow minded individuals on posts like Celebrities Who Embrace Their Natural Hair . Perfect example. 
Tracee Ellis Ross is one of the women listed and the feedback seemed more negative than positive. Some insisted that she doesn’t count, her curls were probably easy to embrace, she’s bi-racial so why is she acknowledged, etc. Tracee does count!
Representation matters. She represents bi-racial girls who feel like they don’t fit in to the left or to the right. Those girls who weren’t taught how to care for or love their hair. And even those girls like me, who grew up with hair that wasn’t straight enough for white people and wasn’t nappy enough for black people. I am not bi-racial, yet I can look up to and identify with Tracee. I can find the courage to be confident through a woman like her.
Being natural isn’t a competition between tight and loose curls. It’s not about who faces the most challenges because we all face some.
Natural has become a category. A category composed of women who stand together representing courage and true beauty. So here’s my question. What good is that representation and determination to love ourselves, if we are critical of one another? As mentioned above, we all need each other. Let’s focus on being uplifting and encouraging, regardless of curl type and number.
That’s all for now! Thanks for reading and please share if you enjoyed. More importantly, make sure to support ALL natural women finding their own version of beauty in themselves.
Until next time. Catch up with me on IG! @iam.tiffany.renee I love meeting new #curlfriends!
Tiffany Renee
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Thank you for this article. I’m so tired of people deciding who counts within a movement where embracing yourself started as the primary focus. Maybe the root of the issue is that those people haven’t embraced themselves yet.
Ashley, thank you for reading! I only hoped to represent the women who are made to feel like their voice is invalid. Your positive feedback is greatly appreciated.
Good share and natural women do face challenges and it comes mostly from women who are not natural and not Black or mixed. I realized long ago that the media shows you what they want you to idolize and envy. When you are comfortable enough to be yourself and embrace natural hair you become a threat because you are officially claiming your heritage, culture and being proud of your race and your features characteristics. Oh and wearing makeup just puts the icing on the cake because black skin just glows in a new bronzed light when foundation is applied. Honey I get these looks and unbelievable shade because people want you to be blacker than you really are. I admit it I am black but when I put on makeup, I’m bronzed perfection lol. I’m wearing a mohawk now and its like if you are natural, the are those who think that you have to rock an afro. Honey please. My advise is embrace who you are and wear what makes you comfortable.
Hi Nicole Kim! Thank you for reading and offering your advice based on personal experience. I greatly appreciate it.