Women Over 40 Give Inspiring Life Advice to Their 20-Something Selves

The day before I turned 40 I reflected back on the life I’ve lived, the life advice I’ve received, the lessons I have learned. I also thought about the lessons and wisdom I have yet to acquire from this new chapter of my life. I am so grateful for the woman I have become and I’m excited for the woman I have yet to discover.

Speaking of the woman I’ve become, it got me thinking about my 20-something self and what I would say to her now that I am 40. What life advice would I give her? I know for sure that I would say, “don’t let society, parents or peers make you feel pressured to be something or do things that do not align with who you are or want to be.“

I recently came across a thread by Professor Nysaha Junior who asked women over 40 share advice to their younger selves and the responses were nothing short of inspiring.

If you are a 40+ woman, what one piece of advice would you give to your 20-something self? pic.twitter.com/igZCFoFsAP

— Nyasha Junior (@NyashaJunior) September 16, 2018

I went through all of the replies and shared the ones that stuck out to me the most. Honestly speaking, there is something here for every woman regardless of how old she is.

Learn to be alone and enjoy it. Loneliness is temporary but tough; find healthy ways to cope. Master personal finance, avoid credit card debt and save early and often. Worry less. Exercise for mental health; the body benefits are icing. Believe in yourself.

— Laura K (@makebrownies) September 17, 2018

Leave after the first lie.

— Gina Coleman (@ginamariec21) September 17, 2018

Never chase anyone who doesn’t want you. Not a job, not a love interest – you will always be begging for their attention. Go where you’re wanted, make your own opportunities, and never wait for someone to ask you to do what you want to do. Don’t forget your worth!

— Lauri Lynnxe Murphy (@lynnxe) September 16, 2018

Don’t be scared of aging or getting “old”. It only gets better….

— VivianPiper (@VivianPiper) September 17, 2018

Learn to be alone and enjoy it. Loneliness is temporary but tough; find healthy ways to cope. Master personal finance, avoid credit card debt and save early and often. Worry less. Exercise for mental health; the body benefits are icing. Believe in yourself.

— Laura K (@makebrownies) September 17, 2018

You are not required to smile, use your indoor voice, play fair, or wait your turn.

— Smexy_Sidekick (@smexys_sidekick) September 17, 2018

Other people’s feelings are not your problem.

— Melinda Byerley (@MJB_SF) September 17, 2018

Save more, travel more, say NO more, say what you feel AT THE TIME YOU FEEL IT more

— Andrea Morgan (@AndreaDMorgan) September 16, 2018

Wear sunscreen.
Be consistently healthy in your eating.
And…
Never settle for a partner who doesn’t love and adore and respect you and lift you up.
Stay true to who you are and Always speak up for yourself.
Be strong and smart.

— Meredith Salenger (@MeredthSalenger) September 16, 2018

Stop trying to make everyone else happy. Owning things is not happiness, watch your money. Just because they are family doesn’t mean they cannot be toxic.

— Heather R (@Heather_C_R) September 17, 2018

Don’t live based on traditions of your family. Focus on reality not magical promises that don’t deliver. Focus on things that have yielded logical results…actual results.

My honest answer

— MizFit KiKi (@MizFitKiKi) September 16, 2018

1. Be less afraid to work for your own happiness.
2. Go on vacation and take cute pictures.
3. Stop thinking so much about the man you love, either he is yours or he isn’t, it isn’t much you can do to change that.
4. Go ahead and try, the worst they can say is no.

— Blair LM Kelley (@profblmkelley) September 16, 2018

1) You look great. Right now. Just like this.
2) If someone makes you feel bad about yourself for something that hurts no one, you do not need that person in your life.
3) Ask directly for the work opportunities you want. Your boss can’t read your mind.

— Tragic Sandwich (@TragicSandwich) September 16, 2018

Define success for yourself. Define what you care about. Don’t substitute the judgment of others for your own. You are the expert at you.

— Denise Hamilton (@OfficialDHam) September 16, 2018

If anybody tells you you need to bide your time or wait your turn, they’re lying. They never intend to give you a chance & 100% will let someone who hasn’t paid their dues jump the line ahead of you. Go somewhere where people aren’t trying to put you in your place.

— Caissie St.Onge (@Caissie) September 16, 2018

Fear is a liar. Trust your gut. Don’t use someone else’s mirror to see your own reflection. Say yes to the things that scare you and no to anything that keeps you playing small. Ask for what you want and pay attention to what you get. Travel and laugh often.

— Grace Killelea (@gracekillelea) September 16, 2018

You don’t have to give up any of yourself for the right person.

— Andi Cumbo-Floyd (@andilit) September 16, 2018

Let go of the mistakes you’ve made in the past and where/what/who you think you *should* be.
Embrace who you are today and build upwards from there.
It’s never too late to change your path.

— Katie Sylor-Miller (@ksylor) September 17, 2018

Develop your own interests away from your spouse, don’t rely on anyone but yourself for emotional health, save money, be your own advocate, people will judge you through their own filters no matter how kind you are, not everyone is nice, you can’t change anyone but yourself.

— LittleRed (@twarren0719) September 16, 2018

1. Marriage does not equal happiness or contentment.

2. You’re on your feet all day; spring for better shoes.

— windsor blue (@windsorblue03) September 16, 2018

Live alone for awhile. Plenty of years behind you and ahead of you where you’ll be sharing space with others. Take some time to enjoy having a space that’s all yours. And travel more!

— BendNative (@NativeBend) September 16, 2018

And to think this was just the tip of the iceberg. It’s a thread for the ages to saved and reflected upon in the time of need. For even more advice check out things to focus on in your 20’s and advice to help you find your passion.