Being a parent is a HARD job. We are in charge of making sure these little humans grow up to be decent adults. There are no manuals that tell you how to do this, parenting is something that is different for everyone. However, there are tips that can help you navigate through this me first world we live in.
All to often children are bombarded with this mentality. What are some ways that we as parents can counteract this attitude and raise considerate children? Below are some things I avoid which have helped me.
When our child does something good its normal to want to give commendation. However, when we give praise to anyone for everything they do that breeds entitlement. We need to find a balanced view of commendation. Praise is very appropriate when deserved but when we are praising children just to make them feel good that is when problems can arise. They began to have a distorted view of themselves. As parents it’s our job to help our children realize their natural talents and abilities. That is how self confidence develops, not by being told they are great simply because they exist.
Everyone knows mama bear will protect her cubs no matter what. Humans sometimes get this way as well but is it beneficial? Many youths today cannot handle constructive criticism and are devastated by it. If your child gets a bad grade, do you blame the teacher? If the child gets a traffic ticket, do you pay it? Or if they suffer heartache in a relationship, do you blame the other person? If so, this helps breed an attitude that is extremely self-centered and makes them think the world owes them something. We live in an imperfect world and adversity is a part of life. By taking into account your child’s maturity level you can teach them to carry their own load. This helps them understand why the ticket they received will be deducted from their allowance. When a child learns to work through their problems they build resilience and self-confidence.
Personally, this one can be hard. I want to make sure I give my children everything I felt like I lacked growing up. I think every parent feels that way. However, material things are not important. Life experiences are. Studies have found that people who strive for material things are less happy and depressed. There is nothing wrong with wanting to provide materially for your child. We live in a society where the saying “you deserve better” is constantly used on us in advertising. The truth is that being content with the things we have is what breeds true happiness. Be careful not to throw material things at them to cover problems. Remember balance is key. Raising Financially conscious children is important. Discuss with them what saving is, what interest rates are. What the difference between a need and a want is.
Doing these three things have really helped not only my children but also myself. These three tips help you no matter what your parenting choice is like. It helps to build a child’s character and self-confidence. What are some tips that you and your family like to use? Let me know in the comments below.
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